Q4 '06: Love Is the Killer App: The Soft Heart in Business
Notes and Attendees

December 14 - Palo Alto - 12 PM
KLNG Law Firm
630 Hansen Way Palo Alto, CA
Ben Casnocha
ben (at) casnocha (dot) com
موقع ومنتديات مسرح الحياة
Chris Yeh
chris (at) chrisyeh (dot) com
Christopher Carfi
Kevin Gee

Dave Zinman
Sean Ness
sean (at) gmail (dot) com
Nancy Tubbs
nancy_tubbs (at) fullcalendar (dot) com
Patti Wilson
Kai Chang
kai at- kaichang.com
Jayne Lange
Anne-Marie Fowler

Bernard Moon
Sean Murphy
skmurphy (at) skmurphy.com

December 15 - San Francisco - 12 PM
Comcate, Inc. Headquarters
44 Montgomery Street (at Market), Suite 4200, San Francisco, CA
Ben Casnocha
ben (at) casnocha (dot) com
Scott Faber
scott (at) ether (dot) com
Neal Mailet
nmailet (at) wiley (dot) com
Jonathan Abrams
David Richmond
Susan Etlinger
Jessie Mandel

Darren Stowell

Leadership / executive coach
Kare Anderson


What does "love" mean in the context of business?
How does a compassionate leadership style compare to a more fear-driven or aggressive one? Are there examples of hard ass CEOs who lead by intimidation versus "softer" CEOs? When is each style more successful?
Can great leaders show emotion such as loving compassion in the fast paced world of business?

In منتديات مسرح الحياة لكل الشباب book titled "Love is the Killer App," Tim Sanders says the following:
"The most powerful force in business isn't greed, fear, or even the raw energy of unbridled competition. The most powerful force in business is love. It's what will help your company grow and become stronger. It's what will propel your career forward. It's what will give you a sense of meaning and satisfaction in your work, which will help you do your best work.
I know what you're thinking. The world is still reeling in disgust at the murderous events of September 11 and still trying to come to terms with a war against a stateless enemy. Companies in almost every industry -- and almost every company in my part of the world, Silicon Valley -- are closing operations, cutting people, and taking whatever tough steps are necessary to stay alive. Your colleagues are anxious about their careers, worried about the future. And I'm here to convince you that what the business world needs now is love?
Now more than ever. The most profound transformation in business -- a transformation made more urgent, not less so, by the calamitous events in New York and Washington, DC -- is the downfall of the barracudas, sharks, and piranhas and the ascendancy of nice, smart people with a passion for what they do. Forget about the Internet for a moment. Forget about Wall Street and the Fed. What's really different about the economy is that lousy guys finish last."

Do we agree? Do nice guys finish first? Add your questions!


Telling somebody what they need to do can be compassionate. Giving somebody critical feedback can be the nicest thing to do to someone.

1/5 of ibankers are assholes.

Buddhist loop -- to be selfless can be selfish. That is, it can be in your best interest to be selfless.

Compassion can be beneficial in the "long run" -- and the long run can be a very long time. Sometimes you won't reap the benefit for years.

Assholes sometimes win -- why? Life's not fair. The guys that should win don't always.

3% of the population is sociopaths -- sometimes assholes can't help themselves. But it's more common than 3%. We're all part of the game that sometimes rewards the non-compassionate.

From an evolutionary perspective, maybe we're designed for the killer instinct, that might not always be the "nicest" approach but it's what wins. Lions can't be vegetartians to survive.

Compassionate leaders get more out of their people. Asshole leaders have employees talking behind his back.

How to be more compassionaie in the workplace?
- Actually listen and care about people
- Show your vulnerability
- understand their job responsibilities
- "Let me know how i can help you" -- look to help others
- Care about their life outside of work (consider family issues, etc)
AUTHENTICITY is key here.

A loving organization is the highest form -- but you can't start there. Need to start with "feadulism" and grow to become flat and compassioniate.

Trust is a fundamental to a compassionate workplace.

It takes 100 positive interactions to make up for 1 negative interaction.

A way to be compassionate is to find the best in someone and compliment it, reinforce their strenghts. Whatever you praise, flourishes.

Is Larry Ellison an asshole? Media portrayal. Both Ellison and Richard Branson are yacht-toting billionaires, and yet one is made out to be a monster.

Two kinds of people: one kind is always looking to spin things their favor, be opportunistic, unethical etc.

Sometimes not being compassioniate and being an ass CEO can create a bond among the subordinates. For example, when Jerry Brown became CA governor he was an ass to his cabinet, but having to put up with it became the bond among the subordinates. Also, Brown's vision was compelling enough to make up for ass tendencies -- maybe this is one reason asses can be CEOs (they compensate for it).

Increase in transparency thanks to the internet, increase in love, because scoundrels are exposed.